Wednesday 24th February 2016 9:48pm
Why is Wednesday always called hump day? Is it the worse day of the week? Moodiness day? ‘Freakiest’ day? I personally don’t understand why people call it hump day. Can someone shed some light on it?
So I had a pretty shitty sleep last night. I know I’ve started most of these posts the same way, I’m pretty sure that’s been my opening line for most of them. I wish it wasn’t but it seems like a good place to start, am I right?
I haven’t been in the mood for work, who is at the minute? I keep seeing posts over social of a picture saying “February is a trail month as well, I’ll sort my life out in March.” I feel that’s appropriate. I am trying to sort it out now but March also seems a good place to start. Although I would prefer it if I didn’t have to stress or worry about things on my birthday. You see I’m a Pisces. A free spirit. A creative person. A fish. A bloody fish! Despite the fact it’s a fish zodiac I think it’s incredibly accurate for myself.
Does anyone else believe that their star signs are a true reflection about themselves? I do. I love mine. I think yeah I’m a fish but I have all these cool traits I can take on.
So yeah I don’t want to worry about anything on my birthday, I don’t want to think another birthday that I’m “ill ” for. I say the word ill loosely as it can be taken through multiple ways. I have been told I seem more positive at the minute. I’ve been told it’s like I hit rock bottom and I’m now focusing upwards. I didn’t think that in the slightest, but this is good right? If I can’t see this but others can does that meanmy mood has changed positively? I thought I was putting on a mask each day recently as I feel really broken but I guess people have noticed an upward change, let’s see how it can work. Let’s hope it doesn’t fade away and was only a blip.
I had a call today from a recruitment agency. At first I thought oh god she sounds horrible, she’s not interested in anything, she genuinely sounded so “common” I suppose the word would be. Nope. I was wrong, yes she was rude in a way and common but she did care. I guess her commission is important! To start with she said I sounded unsure as to what I wanted to do as a job, how could she tell? She then went on to say my actions are sporadic with work, like hairdressing to childcare to sales! She gave me a fair few tips on how to sort my CV out and how it would look better and more professional,so I think I may look at doing that in a bit. I say in a bit but because I keep procrastinating like a professional it normally means a day or two from now.
But on the other side of this whole job search, I work 9 to 5. My pay isn’t too bad and it’s a bit, yes a small bit but a bit, flexible with requests however progression is slow, or none existent. Plus work have never had someone with mental health problems, sorry not problems but more of an illness. They have never had someone work for them like me, I’m so privileged! I do feel like a Guinea pig. “Well let’s try and set you up with our private specialists to see what we can do as a recommendation, don’t worry you won’t have to take the appointment as holiday or unpaid leave we will cover it. Do you think if we did this it would help? Why don’t we have a chat today, are you feeling low? Do you need time off? Have you worked out a trigger yet?” These are the questions I have had recently, multiple times a day. It’s good though as I do have a private consultation regarding this so I can see a pattern to put in place to help me. Tom will be pleased, I don’t want him worrying about this anymore so from now on I am fine. Understood? If he asks I am fine and he doesn’t need to worry.
I know at the minute I am low, but I wonder how long this will last. At least for me me personally anyway. I know they can change randomly and a small pattern can emerge but I would love to see it. I’d actually like to see a picture of my brain waves that would be beneficial. Are these requests exspensive? Hmm I may look into that soon, again procrastination expert here that will be in a week maybe? Possibly sooner.
I went and bought some e liquids for the electronic cigarette today. I’m determined to I’ve up nicotine. I have strengths 18, 12 and 0. I plan to try and stay on 0 strengths for as long as possible but if I need more I’ll try 12’s for a day or two then reduce it again. I hope this works. Is this why people say I’m more positive as I’m sticking to something and I’m determined to make it a new life choice? I will give up nicotine and cigarettes, it may take me four months gradually but at least then I shouldn’t relapse.
Heres to a smoke free future! I’m going to need to find a new show to watch soon, one fact about me is I like to watch anime, dubbed not subbed sorry I’m not a true geek in that sense. But my programme is nearly over! I have 3 episodes left! What am I gunna do? Any recommendations? I feel they are rather calming as they are magical and easy to jump into.
I don’t like having nothing to watch. I may resort to eBay or online browsing to find something else…