Just Keep Swimming.

Sunday 28th February 2016 10:26pm

It’s Sunday. That means Monday is literally just around the corner. How gloomy is that?!

Monday blues… Monday. Monday. Monday even the word sounds boring when you say it over. Why can’t the first working day of the week be called something more glamorous?! Everyone would appreciate it more. I think we should do this. Call Monday something else, something more fabulous. Something less gloomy and boring. But it has to end in day.

Last nights sleep was awful! I was too hot at one point then too cold. I was wide awake and wriggling around as I just couldn’t settle. I didn’t take tablets last night as I didn’t feel like I’d need them, sadly I was incredibly wrong. I don’t want to take them tonight as I normally oversleep or sleep past the alarms so it puts that fear straight into your mind. I don’t like this feeling.

Tonight, I think I’m going to try some breathing techniques to help me settle. I’m going to try the 60 second breathing thingy you do. You just relax and breathe. Deep breathes through the noise and then out the mouth. Peacefully. Each time getting more and more greater with each breath. Hopefully this will work. Have you tried this before? Do you have any techniques that would help me at all as id love to know.

In currently sat watching the last half of Finding Nemo. I love this film. I find myself relating to Dory. I don’t suffer from short term memory loss, well at least I don’t think I do. However I do have the attention span down to a T! I was asking Tom silly questions which no one would think of realistically. Like at the start, sorry if you haven’t seen the film go and watch it and then come back please, when Carla and the babies all go and you see that one little egg, I asked Tom if the crack in the egg was the reason for the defect in his fin. He just looked at me quite blankly as if to say ‘what the fuck have you just asked me?’ But I do this throughout all films. I have to say a random fact about something going on as I’d know it. If I didn’t know it is question a lot of things. I think if I lived in the ocean I’d be safe… To an extent. I’m not really safe sitting on the sofa so I don’t think I should compare myself to a fish living in the ocean.

But time to move away from this fact of what I’m watching, although if I could I would have dory as a best friend as a human of course. Today has been a rather lovely day. Despite the fact we had to go and get the indicator bulb on my car changed. I don’t do manual work or anything to do with cars. I mean you’ve seen what I look like, do you really think I could possible have a clue what to do? Nope. Moving alone swiftly, so the bulb was changed at the shop to which we then went to get some lunch. We ended up going to Taybarns! I never used to rate the place however when I was incredibly hungover someone suggested I should go there as its the perfect cure and it was. Brilliant. So today Tom and I have had a fatty morning/early afternoon. So we stuffed our face and then went and got some skinny pills to help us as we moaned about how we had gotten fat! Contradiction I know. But let’s hopefully see a big improvement promptly. After this it was chill time. Wind down time. We didn’t do much at all, I tried to get Tom to play the piano with his new books but he said he’d have to practice and then try as its been a long time since playing, he’d be out of practice. I can understand if he said to me go play the bagpipes I wouldn’t be able to straight away. I’d have to practice a bit on a chanter and then go from there. Oh yeah I can play the bagpipes.

So we ended up watching films and just relaxing. It was lovely. It’s been lovely and to end it with had a Chinese! Nom! Tom goes for the works however since I’m a fussy vegetarian and general fussy eater I ordered an omelette. I’m so classy and original. Don’t be jealous now.

Oh ive also spent the weekend drinking tea. Lots of teas. All herbal too! I even found chocolate tea all because I really like chai tea, of course I had to buy them all, they just screamed my name at me!

So whilst we ate we watched Finding Nemo. I think I’m completely awake, like wide awake now. Tom is happily dozing and I’m all hyper and want to talk and just do something. I feel like I could go for a run, I’m not going to but I feel like I could. That would knacker me out I’m sure of it. Tomorrow is the day I do some form of Excercise again, I’m going to do a workout video after work to get myself back into the positive mentality and mindset. Then every other day I will repeat and I will be beautiful. I will be toned. I will be gorgeous! We will be gorgeous again as Tom is joining me, he doesn’t have a lot of choice, sorry handsome. Then at the weekend I’m going to suggest we go back to doing boot camp with our friends. It’s hilarious. Last time someone there went around and gave us sweets to keep us focused while we all did different stations.

We will be fit again! We will be back on track! #teamfitness

I had a thought about my posts today. I was thinking if this is actually any help to myself. If it helps anyone at all, if anyone reads them properly. I was wondering if I should continue to do this little project of mine. I had some doubt about it but I think I will carry on. I’ll be able to look back on this and say yep I remember this or I remember that. I’m so glad I don’t feel like this anymore etc. I was also thinking about my writing. I do not have a degree in English writing or literacy or whatever I have my standard B GCSE. I don’t use fancy words. I may not be able to string things together correctly and I do type as I think which comes across all mumbo jumbo sometimes.

I enjoy writing. It’s something I never thought I’d do. I never thought I’d share things so publicly. I never thought I’d be like I am today. At least I have a focus. I guess that’s how I’ll continue going forward like I said I would. By staying focused. Positive. A new mindset. My friend Rhia, she has been amazing recently she always has been, she has helped me so much whilst I’ve been off and in general. Well Rhia, she had a dream once. We was going to be famous. She was going to write a children’s book and I was going to illustrate it. I think I just laughed at her and said yeah right. Well I think I’m going to chase her on this. I’m going to see what she thinks of it again and see what we can come up with. You never know I could work full time, sell the charms on the side, doodle for a children’s book. Imagine all of that! And start planning a family etc.

Did anyone look at the charms page? What do you think? Adorable things aren’t they! I had a new business idea for that too incorporating the charms into my knitting. Special promotional offers, competitions and what not. Hopefully it’ll take off as I’d be over the moon!

Imagine if I become successful for something that I never imagined. I always wanted to be a model or a hairdresser. Imagine if it was for doodling or writing or even selling charms. The world would be so messed up if it was!

Scary thought having a responsibility like that. I mean with this I do have a responsibility but it me. If I didn’t want to post something I wouldn’t have to. I could just leave it and eventually when I did I could explain why I never posted. There’s so much to think about in general.

I wonder if my life is actually fun? Like not boring boring like Shhhs now you’re putting me to sleep, but interesting in a way that keeps people engaged. I wonder I wonder.


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