Sunday 13th March 2016 9:06am
It’s been a few days since I last posted something.
This weekend so far has just consisted of plans involving alcohol which has lead me to the assumption: as adults we can’t cope without this miraculous thing called alcohol to the point we screw people over with it.
Let me explain a bit by that. I feel that as a child nothing goes wrong the worse thing you ever experienced was when your friend didn’t want to play a game with you or said they didn’t want to be your friend for 3 hours. End of the world! Now as adults we discovered we can have more things as life is incredibly depressing. Let’s have alcohol to mask and cover the pain we feel each day and use it as a social gathering point. Why do we do this? How did we get from innocent beings where nothing is wrong to these emotional wrecks who need a form of approval which is found in a bottle or can.
Friday after work I went for a few drinks with work people. It was someone’s leaving do and I had forgotten completely. I had been so wrapped up in everything going on in our own personal lives to realise something else was happening. Well this changed and I decided to go and be social and I’m glad I did. It was hilarious. The drinks just kept flowing. Everyone was chatting and was so upbeat it was a parallel version to what everyone is like in work. A little drink turned into 4 which turned into bottles of wine which ended up being 13 portions of chips being ordered so no one was sick. We didn’t look like we were on a mission to drink, none of us thought it was a mission it was only because we had been so talkative that the drinks kept flowing. I, however, ended up being the last man standing, I was the only male there to point out, and ended up going out on an impromptu night with Rhia!
So… Nearly two bottles of wine gone. 5 double vodkas, gone. On to meet Rhia. This all came about since she said she had a drink and asked about tonight instead of the next day which we had plans anyway. So we went out. We drank even more. We found everything hysterical! She was a bitch. I was a bitch. I was dancing like a twat she was dancing like a twat. We were like mirrors. What one did the other did, to an extent I may add! I was going to go round kissing girls just because, and I quote rhia’s exact words, “I’m single, what’s the problem?” Brilliant. I am surprised we hadn’t been beaten up for the state we were in and the issues that followed us. So this night was filled with random qualities. Constant drinks, inability to talk or walk, random lesbians at every side of us, straight girls being ‘gay’ for Rhia, men in fights covered in blood, us taking the piss out of a ‘local celebrity’ as he puts it. The only thing normal about the night was the fact it was just like before. Just like old times where nothing ever mattered when we were together.
So cut to a random picture of Rhias bum being shared on every social network. If you would like to see it Please check my instagram pictures which are normally around the sides or bottom of the post depending on device. This photo I sent round to anyone and shared everywhere at 2:47am as this is apparently the appropriate thing to do. Which then lead to us coming home. Finding my bed and falling asleep, with some clothes on I may add as we have an ongoing joke that she will be carrying our baby soon. Let the spinning room and dry mouth commence.
Awaking at 8:25am after falling asleep at 4:30 isn’t the best idea. But I couldn’t sleep. Shock horror. I couldn’t sleep. I had a dry mouth. A headache. I had the shakes I was inevitably still absolutely smashed! I was still blind drunk. The only thing I thought I could do was go downstairs and try and wind down. No not possible. Not even thinkable. Rhia comes traipsing down the stairs 20 minutes later also blind drunk. We both sat in the front room laughing at each other for the state we were in. How is this acceptable? How is this the adult thing to do? I don’t understand it.
But then Tom came home shortly after we woke up. He had stayed at his mums as he had a family thing to attend, I don’t want to go into details as it wasn’t a nice thing but all I will say is I’m incredibly proud of how strong he has been. So he comes in to find these two delightful beings who can barely talk, couldn’t walk still and in general should of been put in the bin. This was how my day was. We went back to bed after ordering breakfast to be delivered. I couldn’t sleep and consequently felt like shit. The whole day was spent laying in bed and feeling sorry for myself whilst Tom caught up on sleep as he was exhausted.
Now… Last night is where we had a breakthrough. Last night is where we discovered we had changed. We were having a gathering for my birthday as I wasn’t going to be around for it as I would in Manchester, as I’m so busy and important! So we went out spent £80 on nibbles and bits and alcohol. Only to find out half didn’t turn up, some didn’t even reply and those who came didn’t want to drink as ‘They just don’t.’ Now to me that is a bit rude. If someone goes out and buys stuff and the only thing you want is the crisps and won’t acknowledge anything else that’s rude. To then say oh next month for my birthday we’ll go out and get really drunk is another matter. Do not turn up to our house moan about drinking when you didn’t even bring anything and we provided it, then say I don’t say I don’t want to go out as I’m not feeling it but expect everyone else to go out for yours. Not happening.
Last night once everyone left and it was Tom, Rhia and myself sat talking and we realised we had grown up. We had had the next growth spurt which meant we had out grew our so called friends. We became agitated by things they said. They would talk about themselves or something to do with an ex which all of them had something to say about it. I don’t care if you never got anything from your children’s dad in the shape of money. Stop bringing people down! Be happy that you have children who love you and you do the best for them. Tom and I can’t wait to have children but it’s a different matter for us as we have to prove we could do it before we can even consider one of our options. We can’t just pop one out. Stop turning everything into a conversation about you and what you did and what not. It’s not something people like to listen to.
Another one last night is dating addict. The one always on the dating sites because in real life it’s too difficult. The one who moans about work every time and says they’re tired but wouldn’t do anything about it. If you’re that unhappy fix it! Stop saying I hate everything but accept what you have, if you’re unhappy Fix it! Unhappy your single? Stop being a dick and being self absorbed and be a nice person. Don’t get off on the fact someone hates you! Act the way you do and you’ll be a single spinster all your life. Grow up. Don’t be a dick. Stop being pathetic over everything and depressing. Stop sitting on your phone whenever people are around and have a conversation with the ones who make the effort instead of the ones 2 miles away through the phone. Be social. And do not expect everyone to do something for you but you wouldn’t do anything back for them. Tom and I have cooked dinner for this person so many times, Tom has gave him lifts, if he’s needed something we’ve been there but we aren’t good enough as the 789 people who exist virtually around him but not In a close proximity to him in reality are better. They deserve everything.
When someone goes out of their way and buys you dinner every time you come round, don’t say I’ll give you money next time, which never comes. Say thank you. Get them something to show that over the 5/6 years that they have done a lot instead of telling someone else what you would of done better. Stop being a dick.
People need to stop being twats. People need to realise how good they have it when someone would bend over backwards to offer them anything but it’s not good enough. Last night Tom, Rhia and myself came to terms that we had outgrew our friends. We are happy. Content with everything we have and the only thing we can do is move forward. We have stopped dwelling on the past and are now focusing on our future. Our friends haven’t, well a lot of them haven’t changed. They are still immature and still dwelling on what someone did to them 3 years ago as it caused them emotional trauma. No it didn’t it just meant someone else’s dick was nicer get over it.
I know in this I have bitched a lot. I have basically let out a lot of what I’ve had built up. I have said this to people’s faces so on here it’s no different but when you say it to someone’s face it doesn’t sink in. I’ve realised that and I know I won’t be liked for this. I don’t really care. I have still got amazing people around me who have also had the adult growth spurt and have realised the same, yes we sound like right snobby dicks but we’re not we just matured a lot quicker.
I know a lot of people feel the same as I have done and I actually feel a lot better for venting it out there. I love my friends due to the whole human characteristics of being liked and needed by someone. It’s something we all have. But I’m still there for them I just don’t want to be emotionally drained from them anymore. I want to be positive. Start our family. Start our lives properly as we can and not be pulled back as someone is jealous so we can’t do something or doesn’t agree with what we want to do. People need to realise they don’t need every single person they have ever met to approve of them and like them and talk to them. They aren’t friends. They’re gossips who don’t care. When was the last time they did something for you?
Humans are so fucked up. We really are a messed up species. From the seeking comfort from an alcoholic bottle, to taking illegal substances to satisfy a feeling, to craving everyone’s attention. Why can’t we just like ourselves for who we are and not what everyone else wants? Why are we all being more like sheep with everything going on instead of being the circle in a field of squares?
Why aren’t we satisfied with anything we have and always want a change? Why are we so messed up in general.